The ACES Motorcycle Club – Lessons Learned
Learning the Hard Way
Yes, I have learned many lessons the hard way, but I have always come out the other side smarter. Something I realized early in "The Life" was that you better always be thinking three moves ahead on every decision that you make. Just like the ripples left by skipping rocks across the surface of the pond on the farm where I spent half my youth, every decision has a ripple effect.
National Event Wisdom
Many of those lessons were taught by my peers who held down the patch before I got there. I remember we had a national event in our hometown where our chapter hosted hundreds of club brothers from all over the nation for the weekend. I was still a probate. One thing you run out of real quick is your smokes. Full patched brothers are quick to bum a smoke if they see you smoking, or even ask if they don't see you smoking. I went through about half a carton in a day. I was telling one of my home chapter patches about it and he said, "Where's your gimme pack?" I said, "My what?" He said, "Your gimme pack. You need to always carry a pack of the worst off-brand menthol cheap-smokes. When a patched brother says 'Hey probate, gimme a smoke.' You pull the gimme pack so he can see them and say, 'they're menthol is that ok?' He said, 'Keep your good smoke pack hidden away.'" Worked like a damn charm.
Entering Club Life
For me, this was a whole new world. I waited until I was 38 years old before I decided to join the club. I had a daughter at 19 years old, had two sons with a second marriage, and I was single & had parental custody of all three at 7, 10, and 16 years old. Along came everything I had always wanted in a soul mate. A woman who had her shit together and had no other motive to spend her life with me other than she wanted to. She allowed me the time to explore my club life DNA and she held it down. Never once to take over anyone's role as a mother, but always there for the kids with no other agenda than their well-being. But man, it went so fast, from toddler to teen, and teen to "Bye." I have often looked back in regret that I took a minute away from them for the club life.
Mistakes and Learning
So, where was I? Oh yes, mistakes. I've learned more from them than any success I've ever had. Since we're starting from the beginning, and before the beginning, let me talk about probating for a club. Something I've heard many times from biker friends, "I could never probate, I'm a grown man and not gonna be told what to do." Oh, so you get up every day and report at a specific time and place because you want to, and not have to? My canned response to that statement has been, "The difference between a Clubber and a Biker is a Clubber is about something bigger than themselves, a Biker is about their own personal freedom."
Motorcycle Clubs are not a "Free Society." There are rules, bylaws, and consequences. It is to teach you that we are stronger together. At least that's what I felt at the time. With the right people, who share the right mindset, you are very powerful together. But in a group setting where there can be serious loss of freedom or life, you need rules for two primary reasons in my opinion. One is so that the entire body acts as one and has fair and level set expectations, and secondly, to ensure that every member who has earned the right to be there, is treated no better or worse than any other member of the same rank. Now having said that, sadly it rarely exists anymore in clubs.
Memories and Reflections
The walls of my home office are filled with pictures and mementos of my club life. There are pictures of me with true brothers, lost brothers, leaders of big clubs, and some fake brothers who fooled me for a minute. People close to me have asked why I don't remove those fools.
I said because this is my life, good and bad. Everyone on these walls are important in my story. Some were for love, and some were for lessons. I don't want to forget either. How many close friends do you remember your dad having when you were a kid? Maybe 2 or 3? You know why? Because somewhere along his path he figured out that no matter how many people you know, how popular you were, you are lucky to have 3 friends that are soul mates, and 3 more that would do anything for you and will always show you real love and respect. If you have more than that, you don't understand that the rest are there for what you do for them. It's your job to figure which ones care enough to give back to you what they take from you of your time & energy, and those who fail to make any effort to reciprocate the same level. Here's a secret. The ones who dress like you aren't your "friend" any more than is your "work" friend you never do anything outside of work with...
Until the next Church. Keep it Real
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